Dante's most feared fears
by EricXIII
Summary: Want to know what happens when Dante confronts his biggest fears? R&R please.
1. The beginning of fear

Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry 3 or any other similiar element in the story. Have fun.

Welcome to chapter 1 of...

Dante's most feared... fears:

It was a dark and stormy night. The thunder roared upon the sky. It all seemed like nice weather to stay home. So peaceful...

"OWWW!" Lady screamed. "GET YOUR LAZY HEAD OFFA ME, YOU #$#&!" Dante woke up. "Huh?" Dante didn't realized that his head fell on top of Lady's, umm, well, lets say, umm, just guess.

In a split second, Lady grabbed her Kalina Ann from behind her back and locked on Dante. Dante was scared, although he was an (almost) immortal, invincible demon. "Umm, sorry?"

Outside, a person who was just running home from a picnic when the weather turned bad, immediately heard and saw a large explosion.

A week later, Dante woke up in his sofa, checked the time on the clock and forgot about the whole "incident" with Lady. At demon speed, he zipped to the TV, turned it on, got to the pizzeria and bought five boxes of pizza topped with pepperoni and mozzerella and a few cans of coke, and returned home before the TV was showing his all-time favorite show: The Bert and Ernie show.

"YES!" Dante shouted, and sang along with the theme song, which was 'In Da Tub.'

(Authors note: I do not own The Bert and Ernie Show.) (And oh yeah, if you know 'In Da Club' from 50 Cents, you know the music for this song.)

(ehehehehehehehe)

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go Ernie,

it's your bedtime

we're gonna party 'cause

it's your bedtime

we gon' sip Bacardi 'cause

it's your bedtime

make sure to take your rubber duck cause it's your bedtime

You can find me in da tub

with my mister Bob

listen to this pretty sound

it comes from my rubber duck

I'm in to sitting down

I ain't used to standing up

so come, give me a hug

if you're in to getting scrubbed

As soon as I wake up

I dream about my tub

I like the water deep

so it covers up my butt

people heard I live with Bert

and they think we're in love

I swear I just live with him

I don't let him share my tub

but Ernie ain't gonna change

I won't stand up

And I will stay there in my tub

until I'm all cleaned up

if you watch how I move

you'll mistake me for a puppet or chimp

gotta hand up my butt

but I don't walk with a limp

In the club the lady's saying

Love your striped shirt

They like me, I want them to love me like they love Bert

But on Sesamestreet the Muppets will tell you I'm loco

I've been around longer and I'm cuter than Elmo

Feelin' focused, man

My ducky on my mind

Got my soap on a rope

And the dirty behind

Hot water's on for a while

Then I add cold

I grab my rubber ducky and I'm ready to go

You can find me in da tub

with my mister Bob

listen to this pretty sound

it comes from my rubber duck

I'm in to sitting down

I ain't used to standing up

so come, give me a hug

if you're in to getting scrubbed

You can find me in da tub

with my mister Bob

listen to this pretty sound

it comes from my rubber duck

I'm in to sitting down

I ain't used to standing up

so come, give me a hug

if you like it in the tub

(hey Ernie, that's fly)

A word of Bert

(hehehe you got the bling-bling, Ernie)

"HAHA, MAN THAT NEVER BORES" Dante shouted.

"Ernie, why do you ate so much at Burger King? Look at you now!" Bert said. "What the &, there's nothing wrong with my bodybuiler body, I look like (I don't own him too) Arnold Schwarzenegger." So he stepped on the weight scale and it said 'to be continued'...

"HAHAHAHAHA" Dante laughed off his $$. He then heard something from his bedroom. He stepped off the couch, grabbed his Beowulf equipment, and started towards his bedroom. He then heard more sounds. He opened the door to reveal... "AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" was the last thing heard in this chapter.

Hahaha, to be continued. See ya later. Oh yeah, and if you have any suggestions, feel free to put that in your review. The next chapter probably comes at Wednesday or so, so stay tuned.

"ERNIE!" Bert shouted. "C'MERE, YOU'RE GONNNA BUY A NEW WEIGHT SCALE, YOU #$#$$."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Devil May Cry 3 or any other similiar element in the story. Have fun.

Welcome to chapter 2 of...

Dante's most feared... fears:

(A/N: I'm so sorry I hadn't updated this story in a long time, but I sadly enough had a car accident)

The last time in Dante's most feared... fears: Dante got blasted by Lady, ordered a pizza, watched TV (Bert & Ernie) and heard something in his bedroom. Hmmm... suspicious... very sucpicious indeed...

Ok, onwards to the fic!

Dante opened the door and saw one of the most scariest things he could ever imagine. A thing that made his blood run cold the second he saw it. It was...

A PINK BUNNY! Geez! He defeated evil demons with scythes and bosses like Cerberus, but he was scared of a pink, cute, little bunny? What in the world!

"AAAAAAAH" Dante screamed and ran off like hell. The pink bunny followed him.

Dante ran into the bathroom, and locked the door. "Phew, I'm safe here! I hope." He then heard something behind his back, and slowly, vééééry slowly turned himself to face the pink bunny.

It was like the time stood still. Well, it really was, because Dante, being the smart guy he is, immediately got out his Quicksilver style he won from Geryon, and froze time. He was about to squash the bunny with a nice punch. Luckily for the bunny, the time was running again, and it jumped onto Dante's chest. While he was shirtless.

Aaaah, imagine a little, cute, soft, furry bunny cuddling on your chest. That would feel great, wouldn't it?

Too bad for Dante that he hated bunnies, especially pink ones. From the sudden action of the bunny, he shot up into the sky like a rocket.

Too bad for him he was shooting up a little too far.

He landed on the moon on his head, and he fell on his stomach. He looked around, and screamed like hell. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" He then began crying. Devils never cry, eh?

He couldn't believe all of this. He was on the moon in a few minutes because of a pink bunny. What was he going to do now? Stay tuned for the answer.

This one was a little short, but I'm lazy, so that would explain it all. Anyways, see ya later! 


End file.
